Daily Outfit

Looking slightly disheveled now, what with having gone to church and on the boat and anywhere else my darling father desired to go today, but here's what I wore:

Shirt: Ann Taylor (Thanks, Grandma!); skirt: American Eagle

Today's theme was buttons. Also: those are actually functional and this shirt is so comfortable. Sigh.

My trusty American Eagle sandals

A SMILE IS THE BEST ACCESSORY YOU GUYS. Also my standard silver studs and child ring, but, you know.

Now, off to shower (again) and change, so I can go to a party instead of taking a nap like the old lady I really am. Example: generally the response from my peers to my Ann Taylor adoration is, "My mom loves that store!" And my grandma loves that store. But that's okay, because my grandma also reads this blog and is an angel, and (as my mom likes to reminder her) I hope to be like her in many ways when I grow older. Might as well get an early start, eh? Oh, and my mom's response to all of my Ann Taylor birthday purchases ($50 or less for two shirts, a skirt, and a clutch)? "I'm making you pick for me next time we go shopping." Anyone else looking to hire me as a personal shopper, hit me up~

Daily Outfit

So I've been terrible with these and should probably call them "Outfit Posts" instead of "Daily Outfits" or whatever but still, okay, that's the title I've been using and I promise to start wearing real clothes and ugh I don't know, being a responsible blogger and aspiring author by writing more of everything, alright? ALRIGHT? Okay. Here are the only two legitimate outfits I've managed to wear in the past eight eternities, the second of which I wore today:

Shirt: Forever 21 (Thanks, Angelica); shorts: Urban Outfitters

Earrings: Gifted (Thanks, Papa Jack and Billie Jean)

Sandals: American Eagle

A reminder that I need to learn to french braid my own hair like an adult

Bracelet: Actually my ID bracelet from infancy (Thanks, Mom); ring: Gifted (Thanks again, Mom)

Tank/bustier top/whatever: American Eagle; shorts: American Eagle

And from the back! These shorts are basically the most comfortable in existence and my hair looks rough and I just wanted something cozy to wear to Xtreme Adventures.

Sandals: American Eagle

Earrings: Gifted; ring: Gifted

That first outfit I wore out with Devin to go shopping for our ballet class requirements. Today I went to Xtreme Adventures, which is essentially this giant arcade type place. It has laser tag and a jump zone with a bunch of trampolines and a bumper cars thing. It's a lot of fun, but of course it's expensive like any other arcade; unless your sister works there and gives you free tokens, so long as you don't actually try to cash in your tickets for anything. I paid for some of my own tokens in the hopes of winning an Xbox 360 from that stupid Barber Cut game with the tiny, dull blade on a little arm that's supposed to be able to cut these super-duty strings holding up the empty boxes of expensive electronics. At first I was hoping that the Xbox was actually in there, 'cause then the box would be really heavy and weighing down the string and making it easier to cut down... then I realized that it would be ridiculous to have it still in there, 'cause you don't want to be having expensive electronics falling after strings snap and all of that. Also they probably know what I know, and they don't want people's chances of winning to be greater. Sigh. At any rate, the whole day was a delight, even if I'm ten dollars out because of a stupid arcade game designed to be nearly impossible to win. I'm an optimist.

Running Up That Hill

So, a while back, Joe's birthday present to me came in the mail.

A fact: I love Joe's handwriting a lot

Another fact: I love the covers of each of these books

My pinky is partially blocking the little smiley face that follows "Trust yourself!"

I may have cried a little bit. Okay: I did. I cried a little bit. I'm a very emotional sort of girl. All of the comparisons to victims of demon possession and fictional serial killers? I don't know where people get those from. People who argue that whole, "you're vicious but also totally pretty so don't stress" thing? Weirdos, all of 'em.

Ignoring the slightly tragic state of my manicure (which is of course gone now, since this was taken on the day the book arrived) and focusing on the book itself, you'll notice that A) It's written by Kristin Cashore and B) Kristin Cashore has signed the inside, advising me to "trust myself." What you might NOT realize upon first glance is that A) Kristin Cashore is a perfect angel of YA Literature and a source of inspiration for me personally and B) This message hit me right in the heartstrings, and the reverberations shook the tears right out of me.

"Hope! Shouldn't you trust yourself without needing to be told? Why would that message resonate with you?"

A surprise: I don't always do the things I know I should.

Not a surprise: I finished the book within two days (actually took me rather a long time, really, but I guess I was a bit out of the habit and it was 539 pages long) and it was completely and utterly fabulous.

Recently I had a minor identity crisis that involved me questioning whether I was really meant to be a writer and whether I would ever truly be able to manage anything and if I wasn't a writer then what WAS I, and who was I, and why, if I wasn't meant to write, did I feel so horribly lost and sad when I left off doing it for a long time and why did it hurt me so much to say that I hadn't read anything new in such a long time? Because I am a writer, and I can write something if I just sit down and force myself to take the time and do the work, and I am allowed to do that and be that and anything else I choose, because I have a right to happiness and my own singular truth, and I might not be the most brilliant or capable person but that does not mean I am stupid or incapable, and a whole lot of other things that this book and Kristin Cashore's reminder--whether designed for me personally or signed into every single book handed to her that day, seeing as to how it fits well into the theme of Bitterblue--reminded me of.

That, and the whole story got me thinking in terms of stories and my own and how it differed and how it might be similar and what I wanted to be able to say to people with my writing and how very much I simply wanted a plot that made sense, and how if I wanted that I was going to have to be precise enough and diligent enough to produce an actual map of the world that my characters lived in.

And of course it reminded me that Kristin Cashore had a blog and that I could follow it and read up on any advice or personal experience she had to offer. And it made me incredibly grateful for the gift that her and Joe had given me, and reminded my that however different or similar my mom and I might be that I was grateful also for her anger and her advice and her desperation and sadness and every other thing that makes her my beautiful, ridiculous, adoring and inspirational mother.

Anyway, I should stop writing now before this entire blog post devolves into on long run-on sentence and William Faulker rolls over in his grave in agony over my bastardization of his art form or whatever.